Work has been getting me down.
The fog from my vacation is lifting.
And the hell that we are going through is only showing me how I need to be doing creative endeavors.
Oy.
Thank god for the dancing.
And suddenly I really feel the need to play tennis.
I have been very jittery at work and the exercise is camling my nerves. I think whacking a tennis ball would do me some good.
But I don't play tennis tonight. Instead I go to my latin dance class.
I wait in line to get into the parking lot and I notice that there is a guy parked near the entrance and he gets out of his car and stands there. It is Danny Bonnaducci. It was kind of weird to see him in person after seeing him all my life from tv or radio. He had a big head. He looked pretty fit though. It is hard to miss him. I think he was there to pick someone up or something like that.
So I park and go into the gym and change. I realize that I am almost late and run to my class when the sign catches my eye. Class is canceled. Sad day. A lady standing there in front of me starts to lament it. She has an accent, but is quickly relieved that this means she can now go shopping. I decide to stay and work out on the machines.
I go to a floor that overlooks the racquetball courts. Only a net separates me from the court and the bouncing ball.
I am on the elliptical next to a blonde girl who has a lot of perfume on. She would be pretty but she is a little nutty looking. She has long wavy hair and her towel is covering her monitor. She is moving pretty fast. The guy on the other side of her is reading the newspaper. Two men start to play racquetball. One is good and the other isn't but he makes up for it with his swearing and head banging against the wall. I think the dramatics are for nutty girl and me since after every missed shot, he glances up to look at us and see if he is as bad as we think he is. I think he is worse.
That game is pretty short. Makes me think the men are terrible in bed. I begin to notice that Nutty is singing to her cd player. Which I think is fine at first because sometimes you don't know how loud you are. But then she really starts to get into it. Only crazy people don't care what the others around them think of them. I start to think that I am on a hidden camera show.
She is singing even louder now. She is listening to INXS. I can tell because of the lyrics but I will never hear "Suicidal Blonde" the same way again.
A very hot man decides to use the racquetball court to stretch. He is very hot. And he stares at Nutty and me. He first looks up because of her singing. But then he just stares. First at her and then at me. Then he stares looking over his shoulder. First at me and then at her. I am feeling very uncomfortable. I can't believe that I feel so uncomfortable doing something that is supposed to relax me from my stressful day.
But then I notice that my workout time is done. I head to the stretching room and I accomplish my sit ups stretching. A cool breeze wafts over me from an open window. I notice my figure in the mirror and notice that it is shaping up.
I could have gone shopping. But I stayed. And seeing my reflection made me glad that I did.
So I am back.
And it has had its ups and downs.
I miss traveling and I really hate getting in my car and driving driving driving. But it is funny how quickly I assimilate back into my routine.
Because of that, I am trying to keep it fresh, keep it real, mix it up yo.
I am starting belly dancing classes tonight. That means 3-4 dance classes a week. That makes me happy.
I also kept the tv off for the most part this weekend. Not that I was home much, but normally I would have watched one of my netflix.
But I turned on my music and let it seep into the crevices of my apartment.
I like that. I like stepping out of the shower and hearing music. And smelling the coffee I just made. And the toast.
My horoscope said that even if I am tired that I needed to go out this weekend.
So I did.
Met Mads and Zappy for breakfast at Swingers.
Hadn't been there in awhile. It was fun. Jazzy was there and was getting ready for her trip to Portland to have a romance.
Went shopping with Mads and Zappy and realized that I find stuff when I am broke...always!
In the evening we went to Gamby's bday fete on Sat night at the Golden Gopher. It was kind of embarrassing because I was smack talking my MS. Pacman opponent, Zappy, and was like, "I am gonna kick your ass, oh watch everyone, watch my ms pacman action!"
And then I blamed it on the joystick but it would have made more sense to blame it on the vodka because the guy who took my place in challenging Zappy had no problem with the same joystick. And Zappy beat me pretty bad.
So I flirted with others to distract myself from that kind of loss.
Lots of cute boys. Didn't do much in the way of approaching them though. Not really interested in doing that anymore. Let them come to me...that is my new motto.
Sunday, Tripod had a bbq in his hollywood hills house. Met a lot of really cool people. Had fun. Ate way more than I should have. Tripod made some amazing chicken kabobs on the barbie and I savored them.
Everyone there was pretty ambitious and successful. I felt like a nodding drone who kept repeating, "Wow that is really cool". I had variations on that but for the most part...you know...it sounded the same.
Nice people though and Tripod was a great host.
And now real life starts and I am kind of wishing I had another day to listen to my music and just chill with a latte and some toast in my cozy apartment.
But I don't.
The glare of the lights above me bounce off my monitor.
I am drinking coffee and eating cottage cheese and feeling very low energy towards the work at hand.
And then I realize that tonight is belly dancing and suddenly, my day doesn't feel so routine.
Bad things about travel and this trip in particular:
1. The metro is not equipped for rolling suitcases and baby strollers. Stairs gave us a workout (which in hindsight is actually a good thing about the trip).
2. Getting the hang of the german keyboard and then coming back here and typing THAT way.
3. The italian man that was the last on the plane who ruined my and the lady on the other aisle in the middle row's chances of having a comfy flight. He arrived last, had a huge suitcase that wouldn't fit anywhere, prevented us from taking off, never said thank you to anyone, then totally crowded my already tight space with his arms, fell asleep with his mouth opened and had the worst breath.
4. Screaming babies on both flights behind me and in front of me.
5. My long legs have nowhere to go.
6. Waiting.
7. Cab drivers from the airport who always tell me that my fare to my friend's house not 10 minutes from the airport is making them no money. I have heard it before and I don't know why they feel compelled to tell me. I feel like saying, if it is nothing, then I guess I should pay nothing. I mean, if I am still paying, it is still something TO ME, so shut the F up. assholes.
8. Missing Andreas's first gig at the Hotel Cafe with Marjorie Fair, because I was too exhausted from the flight to go. bummer. I hope it went well.
The amazing things about travel and this trip in particular:
1. Everything else...including but not limited to...
2. Seeing my niece and nephews who always give me perspective
3. Realizing that because I don't have kids, I have an amazing life with a lot of personal time and I really am motivated to do a lot more with that free time.
3. At least the italian man, though he drank orange juice every time the beverage cart came by, only used the restroom once in the whole nine and a half hours so he didn't disturb me in THAT way at least.
4. PARIS!
5. I need to move to Paris. Or have a job that allows me to go there quite often. I really need to look into a new job. The world is too amazing and I have too much gypsy blood to stay in the job I have.
6. The perspective to shake up your life that only being away can grant you.
7. I tend to fall asleep on the plane still on the tarmac only in Atlanta. Must be something soothing about their air.
8. Reading a book by Moon Unit Zappa on the train to Paris and finishing it on the flight home. It was such an interesting read and so similar to things in my life that it gave me hope. Plus, I forget that I like reading. I am such a tv person and I get into a rut if I don't check myself once in awhile.
9. Parisian Men. Yummy.
10. Parisian food. Yummy.
11. My sister's town.
12. Lunch with my sister's upstairs neighbor. Wine and fritattas and conversations about our lives and hearing what she has done with her travels.
13. The Bread and Butter and Cheese everywhere I went.
14. The constant movement.
15. Watching the meltdown of others on the plane regarding connecting flights when in the past, that would have been me, but since I have mellowed, I realized how much positive thinking gets you farther than any other way of thinking.
16. Coming home with all the memories, gifts, pictures, love and experience.
17. My bed and feeling at home but also completely transformed.
It was such a great trip and I am glad to be home. My cat is still at Zappy's and apparently has taken over her house. Her poor cat must be like, when is this bitchy dominant cat leaving. My scardey cat who always hides has come out of her shell. i wonder how I will live with her ego. I will pick her up today and see.
I just need a couple nights of sleep and i want to jet off somewhere else.
I NEED TO TRAVEL! I NEED TO TRAVEL!
Have I mentioned that I love travel.
The pains from being sick are subsiding. Strange skin problems are gone. I am sleeping full nights now. The nose isn't dripping and I am having an amazing time.
I leave for Paris on Sunday which makes me really happy. I almost have the hang of the german keyboard so that my z's, y's and apostrophes are almost all in the right place now. Fingers crossed. I am starting to think in german which is kind of freaking my nephew out since he knows me as the aunt that speaks english. My niece goes back and forth between my english and german and even sometimes germish...or engliman quite well with me. I guess we have similar brains.
I know for a fact that it has been way too long since I had a real vacation. My mind is decompressing.
There was a tom cruise film and no it wasn' called, "Run for your life Katie...that's not an alien...that's your baby daddy chasing you with that strange face".
In fact, I can't remember the name of it but there were 3 triplets that were bald and almost albinos that were kept in a decompression tank. They felt all the emotions of everyone. Or something like that. Anyhoo...My dreams are like that right now. I sink into sleep and have the strangest images and stories coming through my subconscious. Mostly, it is all stuff that has been plaguing me for the past year. It is almost like my brain is showing me a movie of why certain aspects of my life NEED to change.
I wake up a bit ruffled. But it is good. Because it means I have a fresh perspective to shake the appropriate things up in my life.
And when I return...you can bet I will.
But before that...I still have Paris.
It is a strange thing when worlds collide.
I am here in Germany visiting my sister and her kids while her husband is in America.
I don't particularly like Germany except for the family that I have here. And my sister lived in a much cuter town when she was in college not too far from this one. But I felt no connection to that town for some reason.
The town she lives in now is just like any town. Nothing really intersesting about it. Up pn the hill, there is a castle...as well as a view of a nuclear power plant...you know...your run of the mill german town. And I love it with all my heart.
I can't really explain why.
I think it reminds me of some of the towns in Switzerland when I lived there.
Anyway, I am loving it. But I am finding that the eyes I see europe through maybe decades old.
I think of it as a time capsule. In people watching today down in the city, my sis and I were drinking lattes and I realized that many of the people could be transplanted in LA which kind of shook my world a bit.
Nothing particlar of note to write about that except that it made me realize that I see the world so compartmentalized.
And I would like to change that.
Everyone in the house has been sick including yours truly, but that doesn't stop me from exploring. No sir.
And since the weather has been a bit dodgy, I have been showing my sister MYSPACE. I could see that she could easily be as addicted as anyone could except that she has 3 kids under the age of 5 at the moment preventing her from indulging in such excesses.
She and I both admitted to our sense of voyeurism. Not in the naughty sense, but more in the fantasy (again...not naughty) world in our heads.
We used to sit on our Grandma's balcony in Holland during the summers. We could see into an office building. My sister and I would create the worlds of the people we were watching.
As I was showing her myspace, we both talked how you can easily be tempted to do the same with people's profiles.
I will notice that certain people may list their signifigant other in their top 8 and then suddenly, they will be gone from their top 8 and list themselves as single where just days before, they had been in a relationship.
I feel a certain glee as well as sadness when that happens. I want everyone to be happy in a relationship. But the dramatic voyeur in me gets all excited with possibilites to how it ended. Usually the truth is not nearly so devious or perverse as my mind allows it to be. Which is actually good because if the world were really as twisted as my imagination, it would leave no room for the innocence I also believe exists (even on myspace). And to believe in that innocence, is to believe there is hope for me to have an existence where europe isn't some form of nostalgia, and that the lives of people are just mundane or exciting as mine. No more or no less.
But until I can firmly grasp that, I am being distracted by a couple out my window who are waiting for the bus. They look very hip. Or maybe they don't. I can't tell. Maybe they are fighting...or have just fallen in love...or....