The Lyrics of Life in LA

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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

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Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

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Silence is argument carried out by other means.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

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Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

I am not young enough to know everything.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

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Where did you go to university? sexy preteen nudists I'm not particularly into such chubby women but ogd damn I feel so horny looking at her tits and how she handles that cock. Maybe because this guy's cock look almost similar to mine when watching this video I feel like she's sucking me. Great video
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nudist preteens nudes I'd love to get treated like that. Tongue playing with the blonde an dthe red head playing with my dick.. Or teh other way around.. :-)
preteen topmodel info Talover, if she was American then she wouldn't be the same person. As it happens, she is half Canadian, so I don't think nationality would change much.
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I'll text you later preteen childmodel girl I don't like this video. The guy never even takes off his shirt so the viewer can appreciate. Plus, the frequent changes in camera angle give the lie to the initial premise of a drunken amateur couple.
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preteen nudists bbs That's what I love to see- a guy with maybe not the biggest tool in the world still getting it done like none other. Hot.
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preteen team tgp This video would be better if these girls had at lest gotten through puberty. The brunette appears to be in pain. I'm sorry, but that milf could probably out fuck these two skinny sluts. Not sexy - kinda sick actually. Sorry.

Insert your card tiny preteens videos she may not have the tightest pussy, but when she spreads her legs, wow... so beautiful. love her big pussy lips.
preteen boy movie Some of these comment are so fucking hilarious. I don't know where to begin. Anywho great vid minus a few glitches with some of the girls.
japan preteen model Is this all for just porn shooting or does this really happen in REAL life? Man this looks like fun but of course dangerous as well.
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Have you got any ? http://rucatohykujah.de.tl girls 5t black skirt She can be perfect with a pair of natural tits instead of this fake implants. All the rest is great, and she really can fuck like a beast!!

Could you ask him to call me? http://ylyygyahu.de.tl 2 flat brass punch I have one video with her uncensored without that terrible Japanese Moan shit, in the unc. she moans with pleasure. Plus to that she was fucked by a non Japanese dude. Related ? - Maybe lol

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I'm on a course at the moment hardcore xxx preteens She is hot! And so is the guy. But for real, she keeps looking at the camra, Kinda a trun off.
preteen models tgp I have to agree with the last comment, if you are having a good time, what difference does it make if you bump up against another cock. If you are worried about your sexual orientation, you have no business in group sex.
erotic preteen boy This guy actually allowed himself to be filmed in all of his lameness, she is a trooper, she really tried to make him seen quite the stud.
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It's funny goodluck amatuer preteen photos It is so rare to see truly romantic and sensual (not just sexual) porn like this. A rare gem! Favorited.
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Do you know each other? erotic comic preteen That tight short skirt pulled up just enough to see the bottom of her ass and her delicious, savory cunt would have me taking her with intense passion up against the wall in a matter of seconds.
video preteens sex cause he's pay her the money and she's a slut. sluts dont mind shit faces. or how prostitutes come about.
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preteen movie cunt WTF??? She was obviously fucking a corpse because that man did not make a single sound throughout the whole thing and I do not know of any man that would not become vocal if a woman were to whip out a fucking stick and stick it i n his pee pee hole...lmfao. This was terrible and unrealistic

Looking for a job perty preteen nude the girl before the last one was the best sucker she continued to milk his cock after he shoot his cum, i wish she did it to my cock
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I went to preteen movies nude I should have a decent video of Holmes banging Her....seems like it takes weeks for some videos to be approved.
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preteen kissing models Such a hottie!! Would do her anytime !! But this fuckhead is so stupid! Shut the fuck up!!!! Enjoy bb!! Rather hear her not dumbbut!!
preteen underage bondage her face man.. her face is what ruins it.. these are times where the classic paper bag comes in handy.

Pleased to meet you preteenz tgp i had a girlfriend that was that hot nd she was a nurse lol had sex so much in her work uniform
underage preteen hardcore Thats really hot her whole body is so inviting. Love the tats. Wish i was there to make it a threesome
preteen models info What's with the editing on the opening montage? Is this how all Euro porn is, or did the the guy who cut the opening credits to Miami Vice get a new job? Oh, I vote yes for tan lines!
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cocks preteen CH, That sounded like fun. My ex used to bring her gf to my place regularly and she let me fuck them both bareback. Happy days.
preteen girls fingering i'd love to slap the shit outta her and shove my dick down her throat and realy treat her like the little slut she is!
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tgp pics preteen My God she's got some beautiful tits (and ass... and face... and pussy...) Fakeies don't move like that. (She's got that independent suspension thing goin on) Lovin this girl!

I saw your advert in the paper preteen from brazil I can cum just by watching her suck dick. Thats how you know shes doing it right. For all you stiff necked hoes who peck at the shit. Learn from this hoe.
naked preteen archives I tried Bi before,it's so nice,althouh i wished to be fucked,but could not push anyone to do it,i guess getting fucked would be even more erotic,what you think?
preteen miniskirt pictures She is fucking hot! The one guy is so thin its fucking gross to watch though. And the voice... wtf is with the robotic voice... ah.... but she is fucking hot.
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preteenz nymphets this is amazing. The music, the story, the way the are with each other. Sheer quality. I would love this to happen to me, what an amazing girl. I even found the guy really hot too. I love the the fact that the people so real. Well done orgasms

very best job preteen slut I'd love to see more than just dancing, a shower scene, masturbation, just change it up. That body never gets old, but you could do a lot more without going hardcore.
preteens wild She does talk to much... But I'd join in on that, need two more girls tho and two more guys anyone interested in an orgy?
preteen nymphet photos Wow, great vid, A lot of intense action, scream orgasm, and the best gallons of piss, they have a great squirt
latina preteen top I saw her getting fucked with a bigger dick without the same result. She must have taken something or can just do it at will.
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I've only just arrived rompl preteen toplist fucking amazing. what a woman. doesnt she just love cock? fabulous close up shots of her taking his cock. loved her sucking his balls clean at the end. great video. any more like this?
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rate preteen pics I agree with BRADZEKE she is fucking cute i would love to fuck her, HELL i want to merry her.
lia preteens pic wish she'd spill those tits. Nice to see a small dick..to bad big boy can't do much with it.

When can you start? pre teens upskirt Vidi Vici Veni - Wow, well, thank you so much! I do care a lot and I try to just convey real sensuality and passion. And yes, it is too bad that we can't just tell people about nice sexual things... Society is shut off in that way.
usenet preteen girls for gods sake mate, she consented to it, its porn, and this type of thing sells, you never know she might even like being treated this way
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young preteen 14old The lady is smoking hot. But the guy totallu fails at making her horny.. You clearly can tell the lady isnt really enjoying it.
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czech preteen pics I took a black hooker to a peep show booth with a glory hole. I let the guy in the next booth watch her suck me until I shot my load on her face. He stuck his cock through the hole and she sucked him til he shot his load. both our loads dripped out of her mouth onto her tits. She left the booth and blew several other guys before she left. A profitable night for this hot whore.
fotos pedofilia preteens And did you guys notice she stopped rubbing her clit... just rubbing the skin next to it.... she was not enjoying this at all.

I have my own business preteen nudes 10yrs i agree with u guys, this vid is so fu**in awsome with sunny n her big ass n tight boobs
russian preteen nipples we always knew that the one girl smurf got some serious fuck action! then Gargamel comes along and sticks it in her ass! yea Gargamel!!
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sex preteen pictures The chick is hot and the dude is crazy ;D But I feel like the girl is doin to much with the extra
topless preteens com I couldn't really imagine sticking my cock in someone else's cumpie. Not really my thing, but maybe that's just me?

History preteen porn porn randonsam if you want to rate the men's bodies im sure you oould find a nice gay site that will let you do that. meanwhile we'll all be here looking at pussy.
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ru preteen pictures this would be classed as rape i mean i know its a roelplay senario but still ... this toatly turned me off
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preteen preteen search Sasha started in porn for the fun of it and to explore her own boundries, she has been nothing short of amazing since she started.

Could I make an appointment to see ? naked super preteens I think there's a midget in her asshole, I heard him belch while she was pissing! That was a gaping maul, pretty hideous indeed!
tender preteen pic Why does the guy pretend he cums in that chick's mouth when he's wearing a condomn? That part of the video is kind of unnecessary but the rest of the video compensates for that to make it a great video.
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hot preteen funs pinky is dumb thick, and in this video she looks smaller than sum of her others, but is it me or she have midget arms, ya dig!
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Yes, I love it! little preteen butts he pounding the shit outta her pussy damn he has her in numerous positions i wish i could fuck him
cruel preteen drawing As you watch me, your hand move lower between your legs. You can feel the heat emanating from your pussy. You press your hand to it while you watch me slowly stroke myself. My body moving fluidly as I slide my hand up and down, my eyes closed, a concentrated expression on my face. You can't resist any longer, you slip your fingers inside, feeling the heat of your wet inside surrounding them. You gently push your lips apart and begin toying with your clit. You know it is wrong to give in to your lust for the man in the in front of you but the more you watch me fondle myself the more you need to pleasure yourself. With your eyes on me you push a finger inside your tight cunt and immediately want more. You push another finger inside and begin slowly sliding them in and out and you watch in eagerness as pre cum drooled out of the tip of my cock. Your pussy begs for my cock you want it shoved inside your steaming, wanting cunt. Come and get I say!
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child bbs preteens gotta admit this video is awesome!!! love the manager, wish I had a room in her hotel, the guy was not too bad either, kinda funny jaja props to him and very lucky guy

Could I make an appointment to see ? preteen upskirt mpegs Just LIKE the lllllong time ago . . . . . . . . . .
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porno preteens ladies, as me this. after a good hard banging in the ass...do you shit normally or is it more like a running thing?
small preteens pictures wesley pipes, as usual, never shuts up and is always watching the monitor, checking out his stroke. he can ruin a scene!
preteens pics preteen she has a great cock,I got so horny watching her I just had to wank myself,I blew a load all over myself,I ate it all up too.Tasty cum

Would you like a receipt? preteen no sex Did she bite his dick at the end he got out of that mouth like there was fucking lava in it lol
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little preteen thongs she can't suck a dick for her life! she only stuck her tongue out and barely brushed it against the cock! and those are so small it wouldn't have been to hard to get to go ball deep!
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japanese preteen 3d This dude sucks as a male porn star. His dick is short and never gets really hard enough to rail this gap-toothed slut. It would have been much better with a well-hung stud fucking the shit of her and cumming up her tight ass.

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Do you play any instruments? emily18 my friend and I like to suck and fuck my wife. Lately, we have also been fucking each other, while my wife sucks one of us off. Yes, my cock feels real good in his ass, as does his BIG DICK feel good in my tight asshole!
sexe girls 20 yers Know that scene from Tomcats where McGuire comes out with three cups full of cum... yeah, something like that *faints*
52 gal water tank She is hot. Is it just me or does Mya kinda look like Lezly Zen in this clip? Lezly Zen was in the first porn i ever seen in my life. That made this vid even better for me. Ooh the nostalgia.
cheap kamagra 470 i think she just made my day having that song play. Call on Me is one of the best techno songs. Look up the video also, its fuckin awsome
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topless preteens movie Ouch! Watching this makes me cringe. Reminds me of the first time i had anal. Loved it even though it hurt like hell.
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preteen pnaties this boy is very lucky, but he doesnt know how to fuck a girl like her. she has very good body like i like...

What are the hours of work? preteen bbs cp what is wrong with the guy? gets upset when the cat walks around the bed... uses a ring to get harder... and doesnt seem to understand that she wants him really bad - why else would she plead him to fuck her? Seems to me he probably only will understand when she;s gone... just a case of you dont know what you got till its gone... the girl is really going for it... reminds me of Barca against Chelsea earlier in the evening... INIESTA... what a footballer
preteen slut girls not such a nice looking girl..but i reckon she could scrub up well with a minor makeover..fabulous body. great set of tits and awesome areola.nice frontal riding sequence. cum to body would of been better than shooting the sofa!! lol.great clip.
preteen 14 sexi Yes its true she has a fucked up eye but i wouldn't let that stop me from ramming her with my fuck stick!
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preteen nymph gallery or should i say it was a nice face fuck ... don't really see the point of the pussy pump didn't turn me on in the least

Would you like a receipt? uniform cum preteen that was so hot! doesnt hurt that she looks just like my ex. damn that chick can lick some ass!
child preteen nudity HaHaHa soon as the going got tuff he blew his load!!! I know where ad av been blowing my load...
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preteen tease photos That little bitch is fuck'n sexy!! I love her nose!! Would love to see more of her in the near future!
preteen nue photo HE BUST A NUT IN HER EYES SO THAT FROM NOW ON, SHE WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHERE HE'S CUMMIN FROM.

I can't get a dialling tone young fucking preteens If you think she's actually really enjoying this, you must REALLY not know when a woman is faking. I mean look, she's not even ever really wet. And if you think the guy is doing a great job then wow, I feel sorry for you because you must have never had a guy be good.
preteen nono nude She has a beautiful body, but she is so annoying with those wierd ass noises she makes, and the cameraman focused more on her face and tits than anything else! I dont give a crap bout her stupid fake facial expressions or her bouncing titties, I wanna see that nice cock slam in and out of that pussy!!!
black ebony preteens this video is either early in her pregnancy or just right after she gave birth thats why her tits are so big
children preteen nudist get it grandma! i plan on fucking when im gray too,lol and an old man just dosnt have the energy!
preteennude model 15 Beautiful woman, nice-looking ass. It's straight to anal for her. And the guy is an animal between her cheeks. Good anal ride for this pretty lady.

Please call back later online preteen nude shes a gamer. nice amateur dp. you gotta love it. good for her. to bad about the condoms though. i dont like my porn protected.
african preteen girls I get wet whenever I think about this vid. These girls have similar bodies. Big tits, big asses and pretty faces.
kinder young preteen this is very fucked up, but also very hot. im confused....it's disturbing but damn Missy S is a hot piece of ass, she can squirt in my mouth anyday
fuck black preteen I watched my neighbor masturbating thru her windows several times.One night when she had just finished up I went to her door and told her I was peeking in on her.She wasn't long before she was riding my cock with her already wet pussy.Before I knew it she was jerking my cream outta my dick and informed me that she wasn't done with me yet.We fucked most of the night as she came several times.I was sure glad I told her that I was peeking in ...
bss pedo preteen pretty funny. hope someone finds it more arousing than i did. she certainly has experience enough to be sexually competent with most men.

Have you got any ? russian preteens gay I will say though, the guy was a trooper, I'd say from what I see he fucked her pretty good. Oh and great music.
imageboard ls preteen Love the double vag and all the cumshots throughout. I just wish they didn't clean her up after each one and left her messy...
preteen angels uncensored this is the second vid i c of her n she complains to damn much!!! in the last one they litterly talked about their day the whole time
model japan preteen Gina lynn is so beautiful i swear i would still kiss her after her sucking dick and having cum all over her face
preteen super modeles wtf is that her dad?? lmao lucky dad but stil kinda sik.. i wud show her scary movies all day every day

I really like swimming 16 preteens porn Black cock is rippin shit up; damn my dude, way to plow dat ass. We came a long way from the cotton fields. hahhaha.
japanese preteen tgp This is incredibly hot. Lisa Ann teasing the boy's knob near the start drove me wild! She definitely fulfills the 'older woman in control' fantasy of mine here! No need for the incest storyline but that's easily ignored.
heavenly vika preteen i miss my dead husband, but lets fuck near the graveyard... fuckin comedy :D lol! i wish i could understand german!
wild preteen models I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine!
preteen models planet Pretty face, good body - definitely a real MILF. I'd like to fuck her like this, she moans real well. Takes the cum nicely. Good work!

Your cash is being counted japan preteen schoolgirls Lexington Steele just turned this pretty good sex scene into a comedy. It sounds like he's transforming into the hulk when he cums lol
preteen pussy images hell yeah ill pay to get my cock sucked by that fucking whore! she love sucking cock and u know it!
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preteen sixteen nude I agree. I usually flip when head banger music comes on (that music isn't made to be in the background). I think the artist is Pat Metheny. I also don't like......
preteen freesex Great contrast with those big black tits and that little white cock. He makes up for it with that cum spurting though. She was glazed.

The manager preteen xxx pix And such a turn off the way she ends the vid desperately trying to collect his load from inside herself. she should just go for a nice walk with no pants on and let it slide down ner legs for the rest of the day.
boy preteen sex Nice Lady, Nice Fanny, Lots of Cum yet none of the Bastards offered to clean her up, too shy I suppose ??
boys preteenporn Anyone know her name? I have seen a couple of her movies, and she only does interracial, but I get BBD (Big Black Dick) envy sometimes.
preteen photo pic Yes, she's very fuckable indeed - interesting little pointy breasts; he has a very nice bum - she could have gone in for a little rimming, maybe - and he should have spent some time tongueing that very pretty little cunt.
underaged naked preteens Now THIS is good porn! No fucked up deep throating, no violence, no sick anal, and it wasn't all about him! - she got off too and had a great time. THIS is what i'm talking about!

I came here to study youngteens preteens pics This is and has got to be the most beautiful porno star i have ever seen. Unbeleivably fine. Thats my ideal woman should god ever feel like sending her my way i promise to take real good care of her!!!
preteen boy naked not homemade. they're all shaved (including the guys), and the girls faces are always in the frame (and when they're not a director tells them to get back in frame) also, the postproduction is well done - and the cameraman knows how to film. they're porn stars (tho not well known, too bad, shorthair girl is cute) and this is setup to look homemade.
young preteen imageboard the guy doesn't seem to know what he's doing... a girl like that should get what she's asking for. And those other dudes are very annoying
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good material thanks naked japanese preteens Dear American, Europe and other friends) If you watch this video, my comments and want to understand what this girl talk, iam sorry you it nonsense as well as the scenery Old Russian times and soory in my bad English language)
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I've been made redundant elite preteens com I'd love to read the English subtitles on that one. Very good. Was it actually broadcast on public television?
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An accountancy practice fotos preteens gay Jo, why do you ask if this was shot in California? Before I read your comment, I was already wondering the same thing!
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How much is a First Class stamp? pics preteens japan A woman who lived in the apartment above us used to scream and moan like that. I wanted to go up and punch her in the mouth! I was glad when she moved out!
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preteen porn 101 Ever had sex when you're sick and groggy? You sound like that. Kind of a dumb time to decide to make a video but try moaning normally next time you've got a croaky throat. You'll sound like this guy. Also, she obviously didn't seem to care, why should you?
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video naked preteen and this same thing happened to all of our great great great great ancient great great grandmas at least once in the past..

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A company car loloita preteen links IF ALL WOMEN WERE LIKE THIS THERE WOULD BE NO VIOLENCE IN THIS WORLD, WE'D BE TOO BUSY HOME FUCKING THEM, YOU CAN WATCH SHIT LIKE THIS ON TV IN OTHER COUNTRYS OR AT LEAST A LOT MORE THEN YOU COULD HERE, THIS COUNTRY IS TOO FUCKING SEXUALLY REPRESSED
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you have a gift for writing great articles thank you

I enjoy travelling preteen feet thumbs I'm looking for swinger-style movies where the husband-wife participants actually take their time about removing their clothes, like they would at a real swinger party.
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What's the current interest rate for personal loans? preteens cartoons 3d she was about to cry and said she's going to die in the beginning. she probably is a real streetwalker.
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In tens, please (ten pound notes) sex japan preteens These girls are just so sexy and hot really got turned on imagining they were my wife and her sister who i would love to eat up
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thai preteen pic Still added it as favorite, the blonde is just too cute and has nice tits. But is it just me that i have no sound on this one?
preteen and peachyforum this is tha shit that make ya go POP!. cant wait till night tha honeys in tha club are going to be smokin. but i still think this chickz better. let yall know haha. nice vid . hott.
preteen candid panty Yeah, it is quite sick - but in a very, very hot way! Love the pumped pussy, and I always love nice wet scenes. Her face could be better though.

Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? horny preteens funlumpkinsing this is one of the best flicks on this whole site in all the other vids i havent found any of them more arousing than this one shit i wanna fuck her so bad lol
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I support Manchester United preteen nymphet pics I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine!
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alt preteen pics this dude got it backwards, dick sucking first, dildo next, then fuck her, and if your going to put your hands near her neck, dude fucking choke her, oh wait that's just me, money shot? she looks like a fun fuck.

About a year preteen bbs guestbook See the difference between the black and the white cock? The woman is all natural and fucking hot, are there any more clips f her on here?
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I can't stand football pre teen links this is the kind of vid that makes my pee dick hard. id give anything to stick my nose or dick round her butthole. Id lick her pee hole too for fun.
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preteen skirt pic This is one of THE most amazing porns I have EVER seen. That guy knows how to fuck and he does her really good. You can see by her body language (and just the sheer quivering her body is doing throughout practically the entire session) that she is getting the fucking of her life, and she is loving every second of it. My jaw is on the floor, and i'm massively jelous of that dude...
youngest preteens sex i got so dang horny after watching this...did anyone else. if it hasnt been long after you read my post i should be online still so meet me here discreetfun dot net im under jilljames
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We used to work together xxxpicture preteens Dont like his dick at all. Could definitely do without that one. Needs to be long and thick. One wont cut it.
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Could you give me some smaller notes? preteen galleries panties last summer, I was walking with a girl on our first date down along a private area of Padre Island and we saw this couple fucking on the beach. I was not sure how my date would react, but she not only wanted to watch, she got really turned on, and we wound up fucking as well. The other couple had no clue we were there, but I was very happy we saw them, because it was exactly the type of lead-in that made my date really hot.
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I came here to work non preteen Idk y I'm watching this. There is some good licking after the first little bit. (Girl with the pony tail does a good job) I don't understand why she licks air and then towards the end she starts attempting to lick pussy and ass...Still a tease I need a good licking.
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Hold the line, please preteen japanese nudes das maedel ist einfach der hammer! ich will sie auch bumsen und ihr meinen heissen saft in die feuchte moese spritzen.
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I've been made redundant preteen candid girl Does anyone else feel just a tad disturbed by all this family shit but still turned on, or is it just me?
preteen incest gallery this loser really pushed her off of him right when she was about to cum....as if it wasnt bad enuff that he aint do shit to whole time.
young preteen girlz This is nice...as much as I love facials, it's nice to see the cum on other body parts now and then. Personally, I'd like to see more gangbangs where the girl spreads her asscheeks at the end and the guys cum on her asshole, instead of always unloading on her face or in her mouth (much as I love those scenes too).
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Who would I report to? nasty angels preteen i fucking love teen videos like this, all innocent in their wee pyjamas, where is the best site for vids like this.
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photos nudist preteens i love hearing the man going off like that if you guys know other ones like that let me know

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preteen picturies Mindy Vega is sexy! Would love to play with her. If they cut the music and let us hear her moan it would be a better video.
hairless virgin preteen I wouldn't say she's annoying... She's just gettin did in ya know? Believe me, The King's Heard way worse... haha.. all in all a fantastic upload..
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Sorry, you must have the wrong number picture sex preteen I had a good laugh at that bitch at the end.. not Allie but the brunette idiot that was talking shit at the end of the video..
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bbs preteens portal Yes! This is THE Dana Vespoli! For a second, I had her confused with Jana Oso, another petite latin chick who willingly gives her body to be violated and impaled by the biggest dicks in porn! These petite lady can handle the biggest of them any and every which way with such ease! Shane thinks he's doing some damage, but she welcomes his attempts!

Where do you study? preteennude top 10 that was ace until the anal - she obviously fucking hated it! you dont pull faces like that if youre enjoying something.
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Just over two years preteen underground illegal I SAW HER GET FUCKED WITH A STRAP ON. THE SEEN WAS SO HOT IT MADE ME WISH I WAS LESBIAN.
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young nasty preteens Reminds me of a girl I know in Real life, except I cant image her doing anything like this. Well, this helps with the imagination.
porn pics preteen Guy's not bad, but pretty stupid for screwing her. She's pretty and all, but come on..She's a slut that works for a dollar store..No telling what she might have.

What are the hours of work? preteen nymphets stories The only way to make this better is another cock to suck on while they fill the other two holes!
pretty preteen inocent i think she just made my day having that song play. Call on Me is one of the best techno songs. Look up the video also, its fuckin awsome
preteen porn mpg This kid looks like he sucks dick what he needs is some beef jerky and stop looking like a bitch
15yo pics preteen judd you probably dont fuck girls like this because your hacking to HIS videos ... and you watched the whole thing lol
preteen underwear anime i did notlike this one at all.....the dido was to fuckin' big for her ass....and he did not know how to work his dick in her ass....not a good look....

I'm afraid that number's ex-directory korean preteen portal he reminds of the dude from that drawing show from when i was a kid. he keeps saying yesss yeahhhhhhh.....all he needs is the thumbs up going across the screen....what a jack ass
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videos preteens sexo Michelle Wild is one of my favourite porn stars, she always looks so classy and is very attractive, always wears stockings. I much prefer the euro stars compared to the silicone enhanced yanks.
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We went to university together preteen nodel sex That is still so hot. She would've been good to see done without a condom and give her a creampie
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preteen sexy 12yo Biggest Butt! She have a butt bigger than the big cok in the scene. Amazing Butt. Envy. Because she have a very large butt and not fat. Incridible.
preteen celeb nudes Would like to see her doing Hardcore stuff, not just Sucking or be licked. That Girl has a great ass for Anal too

Is this a temporary or permanent position? preteens russian models worst cumshot ever, and his dick aint that big its shorter than her face sideways. Alexis may was discovered by Score BTW.
preteen tai nudes and people thought those small dick mofos retired her. lol please. if anything a big package from a brother would do it.
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movies preteens boys He Is big. He can wrap both his hands around himself and there's still more to go, and he has some big hands (if you watch carefully, you'll notice he's quite tall, too). Big boy fo' sho'
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I'd like to cancel this standing order foyza bbs lol sven's She sounds dumb as fuck, but any bitch willing to bathe in the cum of that many cocks is okay with me.
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lolita img board bbs THIS one is a good video. Women doing it for REAL! No dildoing bulshit or anything [maleish] like that. This is the good shit!

Insufficient funds lil preteenz she has a very very nice figure. and a beautiful pussy! the face hmmm not so beautiful. but at the end of the day u guys rnt so interested in her face right? jus plug it in
preteens legal cute Beethoven's fifth? I wish I'd thought of that. That'll show all those people who say this video has no class.
jpg preteen sex I think this guy used to publish his own home made videos of lovers under the name Windy City X or something like that. I guess you can check out his website info at the end.
underground preteen cartoon Awesome scene, kept my attention from start to end. poor baby in the background crying for attention. i used to be that baby back in the day wanting my daddy when he was with his new girlfriend. ,
alt sex preteens ah damnit, why did he have to go anal! It was awsome till he stuck his finger in her ass! GROSS!!!!!

What do you want to do when you've finished? nude little preteenies well, this is one of the good ones lately. Great actors, nice bodies, and a nice load without blowjob at the end
best preteen blowjob This guy has some other video with red-hair girl on megaporn. And lol... that's how you end being a whore... with such an ape.
preteen grils masturbation THATS CRAZY I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH VERONICA, ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A HOE, NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE JACKING OFF TO HER THO.
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erotic preteen vids How big are those Tits......He looks like a fat greasy slob, no wonder she didnt want to kiss him! But she takes his length well!
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I live in London nudists families preteen i banged my step-mom i pulled out my dick and why dont you come over here and sit on this
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preteens preteens models I like her!!! she is fucken hot! but lately she is swallowing everyones cum. I would fucke her but not kiss her.
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preteens inces only one to three percent of the women come vaginally,..the rest clitorily.....or otherwise,..does she belong to the one to three percent?

I was made redundant two months ago lingerie preteen That was fuckin hot!! I would marry this girl. Im not really into white girls but this babe knows how to please her guy. BTW my dick swelled while watching. Wish that dude was me, it would of last at least a fucken hour. I would of fucked her like a bat from hell and more. Cheee Hoooo!
hot child preteen My wife is a bbw and unfortunatly she is the execption to a true rule. She is a totally boring fuck and dosent even suck, the bitch! So if any big girls would like copious amounts of oral sex, im here
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top preteen nymphets This is the kind of stuff that gets me going, fucking tear her up! I love seeing a women being dominated!
bbc preteen model I give him a C- at best. He needs to really get into it like he means business. He didn't even suck on that clit--NOT GOOD at all!!