Gamby met me for Pilates and then Strip Tease class last night.
The Pilates was tough. But the Strip Tease class was even tougher. It was all wall dancing. So there we are writhing on the mirrored walls with our sweaty bodies and it doesn't feel, what's the word? Natural.
It feels like I am playing a game of "Don't let go of the wall".
But eventually we make it through the awkwardness of warm up and start to learn the routine. The music is AC/DC's Back in Black which is pretty fun to dance to, I must say.
I told Zappy, who hasn't been able to be in class for awhile because of work travel that this was the routine and she got pissed.
"I love wall dancing"
"You LOVE wall dancing? When do you wall dance?"
"I am so made for wall dancing."
Funny thing is that when we were dancing against the mirrors, I thought, you know who would love this? Zappy, that's who.
"And yeah, so we are dancing against the mirrors to Back in Black"
"What!?! No way! I am so pissed I am not there. Watch! When I come back, it will be some cutesy number that I can't do."
Now to be fair, we all have our fortes in this class. I sure Zappy's is Wall Dancing. Mine definitely ISN'T. But I am giving it the old college try anyway. And I promised to teach Zapps the routine anyway.
So after class, Gamby told me that her mom was in town for a night on business and did I want to go meet up with her for a drink at her hotel.
Her mom, in my circle of friends, is legendary for being super cool.
So I was like OF COURSE. I can't believe I hadn't met her yet anyway.
So Gamby and I made a very indirect journey towards Universal City to the Hilton.
We had drinks in the bar (no thanks to our crazy waitress who kept screaming at us that she would be right with us and then would promptly NOT be right with us and would meander her way through the bar to talk, yes talk, to the other tables. Like gab.) and told funny stories about just about everything.
Gamby's family is all women. One uncle and one nephew (aside from husbands, natch) are the only born males to the family. There is something very cool about being in the presence of strong women who love being women. Not feminists, but just a strong sisterhood of femininity. My family is like that in many ways. And Sunday, I was at a baby shower for my friend Katie and she has the same kind of family. I have been awash in this kind of energy this week and it feels great.
These are the kind of families I hope to marry into some day. Because the truth is...I don't like many other people's families. Not even my own sometimes, but at least I KNOW my own.
Digression aside, once we were done with laughing at each other's stories and drinking the vino, we went up to Gamby's mom's room for a moment while she gave Gamby something.
But when she put her "key" (those magnetic cards) into the door, it didn't work. Her credit card had demagnetized it. While waiting for security to call and let us into her room, we overheard a couple (or maybe just a woman by herself) having sex. It was so loud. Three moans. And then nothing. No pay off. Just the start of something and then silence.
"Shhhh, listen," Gamby said
"OH. My. GOD!" I giggled.
"I hope he isn't killing her," Gamby's mom said.
"That doesn't sound like killing moans," Gamby said quite authoritatively.
"What room are they in?" I said trying to figure out the acoustics.
"I hope they aren't near my room" Gamby's mom said through laughing.
"Well, I think she is almost done," I said.
But I was wrong.
A few minutes later, the same three moans came from the same woman from the room we couldn't pinpoint.
We erupted (no pun intended) into laughter in the hallway.
A door opened and Gamby and I both thought it would be the loud sex-woman, but to our shock, it was the security guy.
Shock because it wasn't what we were expecting and shock, because he was one of the strangest looking guys.
His shocking us only made us laugh harder.
He seemed a little put off by our merriment like we were mocking him or something.
We finally got into the room and I took in the view of the valley. It was breathtaking actually. Since I live in LA, I don't usually go to hotels in LA unless a friend comes to visit and stays in one (like when SG stayed at the Riot Hyatt one year - pretty surreal to be so high above Sunset Blvd.).
Things I learned on this day:
Gamby's mom IS superkewl.
I don't mind not being great at wall dancing in Strip Tease
And even though the views are beautiful, if you plan on staying at the Universal Hilton, make sure you don't mind a listening audience if you plan on being loud.
Are you writing this down? This is good information, folks.
I have "special feet". That is what my pedicurist calls them. Special.
And really what she means is "problematic" or "high maintenance".
My heels are very dry and callused. Every night I tend to them with various creams and with buffing them out.
When I got back from Phoenix, I bought myself one of those razor things that are prohibited from salons now. I first saw one at a salon here in LA and when she used it on my foot, my foot was very happy. I told Leigh about it at the time and she gasped. "Those aren't allowed any more because they are so dangerous."
Danger Schmanger. I loved it.
So it had been years since I had used one. In purchasing this little gadget, I was thrilled to have the power of soft heels in my palm.
So last Monday, I sat in the heat of my apartment and soaked my tootsies. And then I went to town, shaving off the calluses.
No pain. Just new skin emerging.
Until I noticed blood on the razor.
I was so into what I was doing that I made BOTH heels bleed in exactly the same place.
It didn't hurt at all. But it did keep bleeding. It was so embarrassing. Every time I wore flip flops the rest of the day, my heels would start bleeding.
And still there was no pain.
Until two days later.
And four days later.
And even today.
My walk has turned into a shuffle.
I am sure I will heal but I will have 'Nam flashbacks if I ever dare use it again.
It's a shame too because it was working so well.
Too well for this eager girl.
I haven't given up the plan for soft feet. It just might be a little while longer until that dream is realized.
At least the bleeding has stopped.