I am in a funk.
A work funk.
So yesterday, I took the day off. I cried, "Sick" and slept in.
Much needed.
Spent the afternoon with Mads.
First at Kings Road and then on to Pain Quotidien for more yummy coffee.
We met up with Steven at his office (tres chic) and then I headed home.
Mads gave me grief about not updating my blog.
But as you can see, being in a funk has not made me a very interesting blogger.
Stuff is happening, like I went to the beach with Leigh after we went to the French Market Cafe for breakfast.
Also went to Musso and Frank's for dinner before going to the Knitting Factory to see the Clientele with Jazzy, Mads and Steven. It was fun.
So like I said, stuff is happening but I am in a funk and not the good funk where you want to spread your emotions all over the page (or keyboard). The kind of funk where you are tired all the time.
And you watch films like "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" for the first time. Which by the way, awesome, creepy film.
But the kind of funk where you are just sort of tired of everything.
It will pass.
It always does.
I am working very hard to let it move like a storm. I am grateful for what is going well. But I just need to ride this out.
Which is why my entries aren't that scintillating.
Please stand by for this station identification.
Regular programming will resume shortly.
I find it ironic that the day of my Netflix arrival of Shane McGowan's "If I Should Fall From Grace" is the same day that I receive an email from a guy I was corresponding with several months ago. He and I had plans to meet (we met online) in person after my trip to Europe and his trip to Canada. I felt a really strong attraction to his pictures, his emails and his blog. And as suddenly as he came into my cyber world, he disappeared.
Today I received an email from him explaining his disappearance.
Drugs.
And his battle with them.
I still find him to be more of a connection than many people I have been seeing lately.
And uber attractive. Hummina Hummina.
But this is a test of some kind.
This year is full of them.
To see if I am doing the work to get the kind of life I say I really want.
I wish the words I was reading in his email about an "on-again, off-again relationship with..." had been about a woman instead of drugs because as tough as relationships are to get over, drugs are a whole other ball of wax.
Him being unavailable because of a woman, I could handle. Him choosing to be unavailable because of drugs was another.
Kind of like that guy in acting class so many years ago that I had a crush on and who had a crush on me. He chose to be Mormon as an adult even though his entire family was Irish Catholic. I had wished at the time that he was gay instead of Mormon. Him being gay and unavailable was something I could handle. Him choosing to be unavailable due to a religion even though he liked me was another. But I digress.
So in watching Shane McGowan's documentary, I found myself wondering why I love broken people.
His girlfriend of 15 years finally had to leave him (she is in the film but they were still together then) because of the drugs.
And THEY were soul mates.
She now has a website about communicating with angels and energy.
Don't laugh. I think that may be my path some day. I am just saying. Weird shit happens to me.
And it usually involves stuff like angels and psychics and channeling. Ask my friends. They know I am weird.
And they know that is probably the path to my future too. Even though they wouldn't really choose it for me.
Anyhoo, as I am sitting wondering about the synchronicity of it all (you know...this particular film arriving on the same day I receive the email about a drug user), the documentary starts to show the video for "Fairy Tale of New York".
And it moves me. The song frigging moves me as it always does.
And I know why I love broken people.
Because I am broken people.
And broken people know pain.
And can usually express it in ways that others can't.
They are artists, and poets and musicians...
And in knowing them, it
a) makes me feel better about myself because I am not alone in my disfunction and
b) I can try and fix them so that I can fix me and then we can all live brokenly-fixed, happily ever after.
Like a Fairy Tale in Los Angeles...or wherever the broken people nearest to me are.
In an attempt to finally see each other, Mads, Jazzy and I decided to check out Brook's show at the Troubador on Saturday night.
As it is with the rare breed of punctual rockers (read: first band didn't show), he went on early. We missed him yet again. I actually caught a song and a half. Which was great. I tried to wear heels. Carried my flip flops in my purse. It was a little weird but I managed.
Which was a problem in itself, but now the decision of where to go since Ernie and Petra had driven from the OC and had just found parking.
We ended up at a place on Hollywood Blvd which was divine for people watching.
It was a really fun night.
The last time I had seen Mads was several weeks ago. She looked great. Although she thought she looked old.
The last time I saw Jazzy was last week when she came out to Ikea to meet me. It turned into a night where the story is much funnier NOW rather than then. My couch base wouldn't fit in my car.
That Jazzy is a clever one and so strong. Without her I would still be in that gotdang parking lot. Jazzy looked great Sat night too. Even though she was exhausted. She is working like 3 jobs, that one is. And I think she is running on pure fumes now.
Saw Leigh and her new husband on Friday night for dinner. After several attempts at various Mexican restaurants whose waiting lines were too too long, we ended up at Casablanca. You would think that Mexican food is hard to find in this town by the looks of the lines. But Casablanca ended up being a very good choice. Amazing tortillas. Talked to Leigh's husband about dating online (since that is how they met). In fact, at Leigh's reception, I kept yelling out, "that bitch went on only 3 dates on Match before she met AW. I have been doing this for 5 years. That lucky summabitch". I think that was on the video. I already warned her.
My Summer Vacation by Mermaid Jones
At least up till now.
I am exercising a lot.
I am involved in creating a tv show idea with 2 friends and right now, there is a lot of wonderful momentum, support and people behind it.
I am catching up with friends like Kate, Claire and Sarah
I am eating cheerios a lot lately. Don't really know why since I am not a cereal gal.
I am broke and can't figure out why sooo broke right now but I am riding it out.
I have started writing my book of short stories
I have gone to the Magic Castle.
I have gone to the Hollywood Bowl.
I have taken a certain stance on the dating scene.
I have the worst cramps I have had in awhile. Oy.
I have been to more bridal showers, weddings, birthdays, memorials, going away parties, congratulation parties in the past few months than I have ever been to in my life.
I am getting along with my mom and my dad and my sister all at the same time.
I got my hair cut. And my stylist and I talked about ferrets, bar tending, belly dancing and the Ramones.
I watched two documentaries about Pirates. I feel more educated now.
And the weather is cooling down.
But I think that is happening in everyone's life in LA.
My summer has been very busy.
But there are still a few things I want to do before it ends.
Go camping in Yosemite
Go to the beach (I can't frigging believe I haven't been in the ocean yet this year)
Go out of town on vacation
Get a facial
Finish one of my projects (hell I would settle for finishing one of the books I am reading).
The End.
I am at the point that I only get to once every few years.
Kate calls it closet shopping.
I call it cupboard testing.
I will buy products: hair, face, soaps, shower gels, creams, cleaning, etc and then will use half of a bottle and move on. But I always keep them.
I am at the point where I have been too busy to even go shopping for the most basic stuff.
So I am dipping into the extra bottles.
And I am almost out.
I think it is kind of feng shui to get rid of the clutter that I always know is there.
But I also think it is time I go shopping when I am using allllllll the extra bottles of everything.
But I am finding that some of the cleansers that I forgot I had, are amazing.
Or maybe that is not true.
Maybe it feels like I have new products and I am giddy from that.
No diff.