Aha
It has been way too long since I have written about things.
Saw Sarah Grace (friend, author, all round funny lady) as she made a trip from DC with her new husband. We dined a fine brunch at Toast with her friend Grego and another author extraordinaire Bob Harris. It is always reconnect with an old friend. You remember a lot of crazy moments from the past and you realize based on those stories how far you have come.
I went to my holiday party with Zappy at the Roosevelt Hotel. It was swanky indeed and we had a good time.
On the way back to Zappy's car, we were in my car at a red light. Some punk kid was crossing the street and instead of continuing to walk the crosswalk, he stopped at my car and walked over to it.
"What is he doing?" I said to Zappy.
I thought he was going to hit the car or something.
Instead, he took two fingers and slid them across the hood and then looked at his fingers like you would when checking for dust.
And without ever having looked at us, he shook his head in disgust.
I was offended but also found it comedic.
"I guess he didn't approve of your car's cleanliness", Zappy said.
Yeah, well. I didn't approve of him thinking so.
Punk.
I am almost done with Christmas shopping.
I am giving my photography and mixed cds and pumpkin bread as the bulk of the gifts.
I am going to Seattle for Christmas to see my dad and Rondie since he is up there on a job.
I am looking forward to it.
Monday I am seeing a screening of Dreamgirls. I truly am looking forward to that as well.
Tonight is an amazing fest at Jazzy's where there will be karaoke and Mrs. Lee. I can't wait
But right now, i am burning an amazing candle, going through bills and playing cool tunes as I still sit in my pjs.
Life is good.
When you have had the kind of life where what you want always seems just an out of reach grasp away, you begin to think that your lot in life is only to overcome that out of reach-ness rather than to actually enjoy the success.
But things are starting to happen the way I have always thought they could for me.
And that is wonderful. It is. It's just....well
Pardon me if I am a little skeptical.
I am trying and I mean try-hi-hying very hard to be grateful and accepting of it all and not allow worry to creep in.
Let's just say that for the past year, I have gone on several dates (read approx 20) and many have been good fodder for my book, blog, cocktail stories.
Some have given the illusion of something that could work out.
Some have started to work out, only to not.
Some never had a chance.
Some made me laugh.
Some made me scratch my head and say, when did I become Alice in freaking wonderland.
No matter what the result of them all, I learned an awful lot about myself.
The Red Lion guy from a month and a half ago was one that I thought would pan out.
But the flicker wasn't strong enough. Or the connection. Or the desire to get it off the ground. It is still sort of out there floundering.
But I am throwing it back into the dating waters. More fish out there blah blah.
Or...
The guy who lied about his age and was younger than my youngest cousin.
The guy with whom I had a great phone conversation but in person felt like a practice session of listening to our own voices.
The guy who checked out every waitress and never noticed when I pulled out a book and pretended to read.
The guy who was visiting from Canada who I made out with who admitted that he liked listening to the neighbors having sex better than getting all worked up himself.
The British guy who was very saint-like in his idea of himself but was quite pervy even for me. Quite pervy for most, I would imagine.
The guy who looked at me with stars in his eyes but would be better suited to a woman who doesn't mind sitting in the garden for hours and hours in silence just smiling at each other, every day.
The guy who was bitter towards women and told me that he thinks women are gold diggers and why couldn't he too be a gold digger since he was broke.
The guy who was addicted to drugs.
The guy who was addicted to porn
The guy who wasn't sure he only liked women.
Need I go on?
But then there is the newest guy.
And even though I really don't want to jinx it here, I have to say that our date, well, it was kind of great.
We had a week long phone relationship because he was back east for Thanksgiving.
Normally I don't do that anymore because the build-up always exceeds the reality.
But our phone conversations were pretty cool.
We met for the first time on Saturday.
I was nervous.
I couldn't handle another roller coaster of emotion for something that didn't end up working out again.
But like always, I got on the ride.
And he was cute.
And he thought I was cute.
And we held hands.
And we kissed.
And we went to the beach and walked on the pier among the people fishing at night.
And we giggled a lot and smiled a lot.
And I felt very very very content in a way that I haven't in a long long long time.
It wasn't over the top crazy out of control passion.
It wasn't me settling to figure out if I could live with that weird eye twitch or limp or man boobs.
It wasn't a manipulated date on my part.
It wasn't like anything I have experienced.
It was just very nice.
I don't know what will come of this.
But it was one of THE first normal dates I have ever had where we both like each other equally.
And when your life starts to allow you to taste the out of reach-ness that you have long thought was out of reach, your nervousness goes down.
Your panic level subsides.
Now I am not saying
That I am not a little nervous he won't call.
That I am not a little excited about the potential.
That I am so calm that come what may, I don't care.
Or that I have it all figured out.
I guess all I am saying is that something feels a little closer to my reach.
And the gap feels a little more possible to fill.
While parking to join up with Reb, Zappy, Neece, and Jazzy at the Hollywood Improv, I knew it was going to be a great evening.
The parking space was primo. Luck? Nah, I feel I have entered my new phase of things going well ALL THE TIME! Jealous? Don't be. Or do be. Doobie. Ha ha...I may have ADD...okay.
So I found Zappy and we found Reb and we went in for a drink.
We talked about cardio strip tease classes and I told them how amazing it is.
The show was fun. Kyle Dunnigan is very funny.
I knew of 2 of the other comics (Tom Papa and Bryan Callan formerly of MadTV).
Reb knew of another one whom she had seen in NY. Neece and Jazzy put dibs on who they would sleep with.
As did Zappy.
After the show we met the comics and it was like a party. I also saw another friend of mine (Julia) who was performing her two person comedy show (Juls and Av) next to the Improv.
I told her how I had to make Sophie's choice of which show to go to. Both put me on VIP lists....eh.....what's a girl to do.
So I told her that I chose the wrong show. I was being glib and funny but realized that one of the other comics from the show I went to was standing there. I pulled him aside and said, "I didn't really choose the wrong show. You rocked. Seriously". I think he was stoned, or didn't care. He sort of smirked a little.
Julia's friends and my friends were all co-mingling. I got several phone numbers. Programmed them right into my phone. I know that next week, I will be like, "Who is this?". So I am playing memory games on myself so that doesn't happen.
As we left the club, we realized that we were too drunk to drive. We needed food and chose to walk to Swingers. Which in a car is not far at all from the Improv. On a cold night with women in heeled boots and a loud gal who needs to pee (me) and no one really able to discern how far it is exactly, it wasn't the best decision. Zappy fell. Like one of those falls that happens in slow motion and in several phases. Almost falls, then in trying to get up, she falls again and harder than she would have the first time. Her hands look like a little kid's who has been playing in the street all scratched up.
As we tried to cross the street, Reb and I realized that Zappy and Jazzy were very happily unware of traffic in their inebriated state and needed to be corralled a bit. Reb said, "Okay, let's tag team the lunatics". Neece was like, "Who are the lunatics" and when Reb and I pointed to Zappy and Jazzy, we all started to crack up in a You-had-to-be-there moment.
We finally made it to Swingers. Frenchiegal was there. And Pisces David joined us. I had an amazing conversation with Reb.
I told her that I can't wait to see how her life turns out.
David drove us back to our cars because none of wanted to trek it back to where we had parked.
Thank god.
And just as we had all come from different areas of the city, we trickled out of David's car to make the return trip from whence we came.
I drove home alone with a permanent smile on my face.
Was it luck? Nah...it was the new phase beginning to show me what my life is supposed to be like.
You know the Carl's Jr. commercial where the guy shakes the cow?
That guy is Kyle Dunnigan.
Also known as Craig on Reno 911.
He is one funny dude.
And tonight he performs at the Improv to share the funny with us.
And I will be there with my gaggle of ladies that I travel with sometimes.
And we will laugh.
And earlier this week, I checked out Raw Beats at the Derby. It is 2 drummers drumming (9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a milking....oh stop, you know you thought it) to ambient pre-recorded music. It was awesome and hypnotic.
As I was trying to enter the Derby, a guy who was appeared to be on a date asked me if this was the entrance.
As it has been the only way I have ever walked into the Derby, I passed him as he smoked and said, "Yes."
He kept talking to me as I walked up the stairs to enter to the dismay of said date.
"That is what I get for coming here wasted and leaving even more wasted"
"Yep" I say.
"Who is playing? Who are you going to see?" he said still smoking and wearing his cool-date-outfit.
"Raw Beats. They play drums and they are really cool." I actually hadn't hear them yet, but it is Frenchie Gal's brother and he is a cool guy so I just said so.
"Awesome" he said.
I don't think his date thought it was.
And maybe she thought it was a date and he was one of those unclear guys who asked her out and then treated it like she was his buddy until closing time, in which case, he would sloppily try and make out with her and not even remember her name the next morning,....hey that didn't happen to me...I am not projecting at all so stop thinking I am talking about last week's date. I am not. It happened last year and I am soooo over it so you can just cool out....resuming normalcy in 5, 4, 3, 2,
So as I get to the top of the stairs, the bouncer says, "The entrance is around the front?"
"Really, even for Raw Beats?"
"yes, around the front."
So now I have to walk back down the stairs and tell the couple that I was wrong but if it had been every other time I had been here, I would have been right but without sounding like I care either way about whether they think I was smart or not.
"It is around the front now."
"I guess you were pretty wasted when you were here last too. heh heh"
And they walked ahead of me. Her body language trying to signal to him to hold her hand. His body language pretending he doesn't speak body language.
If they had turned around, they would have seen me sticking my tongue out at them. He didn't even wait for a witty comeback on my part which was fine, because I didn't have one.
So I entered the Derby and walked through the main room passing a performer on stage at the piano playing "Karma Chameleon" to the back room where I got my rhythym on.
Drums and Comedy with a few dates (of my own) sprinkled in for good measure.
A good week, in my estimation.