Last night, I was invited to Jazzy's holiday party for her work.
It was held at the Ritz Carlton in Pasadena.
It was ritzy...and a little carlton-y too.
Good good food.
Fun fun dancing.
Crazy crazy company.
And no need to say it...but any party with a photo booth is a party I LOVE!
A good time was had by all.
Even though this week feels very displaced.
I am looking forward to the new year.
Will the P be alive this year again?
I certainly hope so.
Right ladies? I wish it for you all.
Jazzy, Mads and I leave El Coyote last night after being friendly with some margaritas and chips.
The host asks us if we had been sitting in the seats that we indeed had been sitting in.
"Why?"
"Are any of you missing something? Something that would go around your neck?"
Mads and Jazzy quickly reach for their necks to see if a necklace slipped off.
I don't wear much jewelry so I didn't even check.
"Are you sure you didn't leave something?"
"Like a debit card?" I say
"That doesn't go around your neck!" Mads chides.
"Oh yeah...hmmmm....what could it be?"
Then the man produces the scarf that Mads recently bequeathed me since I "borrowed" it indefinitely.
We all squeal with delight.
"I said it went around your neck" the man says.
"I had no idea I didn't have it with me."
Then he says to Mads and Jazzy, "Thank god she's pretty."
I know it was a shot at my brain. But I took it as a compliment.
I guess that is the power of a margarita.
I went to a psychic that reads coffee grounds in San Diego this summer.
She came recommended through a person who claimed that she was not only legit, but had predicted everything correctly.
I went. She said that my sister was pregnant with a boy.
I was stunned. I had never told her that I had a sister, let alone that my sister was pregnant.
So when she also told me that I would meet a wealthy man who would (in her accented english) "Have all the sex with you and all the kissy kissy and will never leave you and he will always have a lot of money", I was like, "SCORE"
So when I tried to upgrade to DSL and it didn't work, my dad asked me if I was going to try and get cable or something.
"You need to upgrade," he said.
"Oh, I will. I will wait until I meet the kissy kissy money man and he will probably already have DSL or something, so I am not going to worry about it."
"So, you won't upgrade because you know you will be having DSL soon from a guy you don't even know will appear?"
"Well, when you say it like that, it just sounds crazy" I said.
So, Rondie's mom who is losing her mind a little is addicted to psychics.
When she came out to San Diego for Christmas, Rondie made an appointment with the coffee lady for her mom.
That appointment was yesterday.
I called my dad to find out how it went.
His reply:
"You might want to still get DSL on your own."
That dad of mine.
Just cuz the psychic told her 80 year old mom who is anti-social and really doesn't like people and still talks about her second husband who died 4 years ago, just cuz she told HER that she would marry next year, my dad thinks it won't happen.
Um cynical much? I am still holding out.
I mean...my sister was pregnant with a boy!
Come on!
I think I like the idea that during the holidays, amidst all the traffic, crowds, sore throats, sleeplessness, that you are not alone in the world. At least I am not.
And yes, I have been feeling a little nostalgic for a loving man I have never known and the sadness of lust without romance...
And the idea of love without tragic consequences seems like such a far off notion. But nonetheless...
The Pogues song "Fairy Tale of NY" is ringing in my head.
ooooo - musical interlude..
"I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you"
Yesterday, I was slammed at work.
But we had our department party...all included with liquor and good eats. We had the White Elephant (aka Nasty Santa, Yankee Christams...) gift exchange where you steal items you want from people.
It was soooo much fun. I took the CO Bigelow creams from the head of the department (who is pregnant). Everyone acted like I took her baby away from her. I just laughed. Someone had taken my beautiful wine plates, the Bed Bath and Beyond Gift Card, the cool asian box with wine from me...it was the least I could do. The lip balm is amazing and I am not regretting the move a bit.
The party was what we needed this season of hard work.
And then I dashed across town to Mads after work to join her for her little soiree of gift exchanging.
Ennui and Reedfish were there. Jazzy showed up a little later with queso con something yummy and a salad.
It was wonderful.
It was nice seeing Ennui and Reedfish. We talked about snobbery in all its forms. It wasn't without pointing fingers at who we thought were snobs in the room.
We decided it is the perception of snobbery that'll get ya.
We opened presents. I feel so blessed with the people in my life.
For my friends and family. For the people who teach me every day in good and bad ways. In any case, I am always learning.
It made me realize that I am full. And the longings of what you don't have will always be there no matter what you do have.
So on my way home, I really focused on what I am grateful for.
oooo musical finale
"Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So Happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true"
So after Amoeba, Mads took Ennui and me to dinner to the Bowery.
I love that place.
Now on Saturday, I met Mads at Whole Foods for lunch. She had me try the Harvest Vegetable Soup. It was...and I don't think I am exaggerating here...the BEST SOUP EVER!!!!!
I have been thinking about it for days.
Last night, I almost didn't go with them to the Bowery because I needed to get that soup from Whole Foods.
But what I didn't know is that Mads is a food pusher...a dealer...the first one is free and then, I can't get the food out of my mind. I am addicted.
The Bowery had the most amazing batter fried vegetables, sauteed spinach and baked macaroni and cheese.
I was so satisfied, that I didn't even need to get the Harvest Vegetable soup last night.
That is how good it was.
I slept like a baby...a baby plied with a new addiction.
I love music.
It keeps me going.
This time of year, I tend to go crazy buying music. Maybe because I make mix cds for people and I like to have new songs to work with.
Since I got my ipod, I have been rotating my supply pretty heavily which makes me get too used to it (read: bored) with what I have.
A couple of weeks ago, I borrowed like 13 cds from Mads to burn.
I have been so happy with all the new music.
Like when you buy new clothes and they are all you wear and you are like...what did I wear before I had this.
In continuing with the holiday spirit of replenishing my stock, I went to Amoeba last night. I went chiefly with the need to satisfy my Nina Simone jones (since I saw the recent J'adore commercial).
I got so many cool cds that are making me happy.
I sing loudly in the car with the music and when my voice hits a certain level with the singer, it is orgasmic. My body tingles.
I feel in those moments, I am one with the universe.
I am so tired today.
My sister called me today at 6am from Germany to vent about my mom.
It was the only time she would have.
I am glad I was there for her to let her vent, but I am exhausted.
My poor little eyes are trying to close and the lights above me won't allow it.
I need coffee.
Really really badly.
2005 is kicking and screaming to stay in the game.
I am crash course learning every day...I guess it's what I am supposed to know before 2006 commences.
What I do know is that I saw Jon Voigt on Friday at a restaurant.
I saw Toni Basil Saturday at Whole Foods with a big floppy hat. She was looking pinched if you must know. But maybe that is how she always looks.
She used to dance in movies with Teri Garr (who people say I resemble).
This morning at Starbucks I saw the mom from Growing Pains. She is really pretty.
Oh, and I am also learning that my standards for a relationship are so high that I might be alone a bit longer...but that is okay because I know what it will take for me to REALLY be happy with another person. And that is really worth the crash course 2005 is giving me.
I feel like I kind of grew up this weekend.
I am an aunt for the third time.
Erik David came into the world this morning in Germany.
My neice who loves babies is in love with him.
And my nephew, who saw what happened the last time his mom was pregnant, was less than thrilled.
He was watching tv and doing the requisite patting of the baby without taking his eyes off the boob tube.
Without skipping a beat in robot fashion, he said, "I love him, I do" and then proceeded to poke the baby in the eye.
I was an older child...I totally understand that unspoken knowledge that your life will NEVER be the same.
But the parents are fine and my mom is visiting to help them (which is why I will be visiting later - HA).
Welcome little Erik. It's gonna be fun.
The new Carl's Jr. Milkshake ad is on my mind.
The ad, which shows a hipster guy trying to look like a rednick farmboy, comes upon and shakes a cow.
It is so disgusting.
And yet, eerily mesmorizing.
I can't not watch it when it comes on.
The guys looks like he is about to mount the poor bovine.
He gives a look to the camera and smacks the cow's ass...all to the music of Sean Paul's "Get Busy". The utters move back and forth.
I am either slowly starting to really really detest this commercial or really really like it.
In dance class last night, this man that I have been in dance classes with for the past 5 years, was there again. He is older than I am. Like, a lot older.
He is a good dancer and he is kind of famous I think.
The teachers always seem very thrilled when he joins in.
I always felt that he saw me as his granddaugher.
Very supportive. Very kind.
Last night, my crazy curly hair brought out another side of him.
He couldn't stop telling me how pretty it was and how he liked it and that it was sooo natural. And why don't I wear it more like that.
I think he was hitting on me.
He said something right before the music started but I didn't know what it was.
After he said it, he was a little embarrassed.
I just sort of half giggled because I didn't know if I should be embarrassed for him...or for me...or for the whole situation.
But then the music started and all was back to its regular scheduled program.
Then I went to the video store and saw the older gentleman who once called me Rubenesque and wanted me to drive his drunk ass home in his SAAB. Or Volvo. I can't remember, but anyhow...was it a full moon last night?
The more I look around, the more I fear that I am way too normal.
But what is weird about that is if you get to know me, I am not that normal.
I am one big can of crazy.
But still not crazy enough for the things I see when I get to know people or when I look around me at the world and what other people are doing in their lives.
I am not boring. And I detest boring.
And maybe I have been afraid that boring and normal are the same.
But I realize they are not.
I just don't know how to express myself in the way I need to.
Everyone is crazy in their own way.
I think the trick is matching crazy.
I have been listening to Belle and Sebastian like non-stop and when you hear the music, it's like a light fun melody that sounds familiar.
It is nice.
It makes me smile.
Until I start really listening to the lyrics.
And they are really fucked up.
But then I go on Craigslist and realize that the lyrics reflect what is always around me in this city. In every city. In every person looking for their match of crazy.
Which brings me back to the fact that I fear I am too normal.
Which kind of makes me sad, because if I am normal, god help us all.
I look younger than my age.
And my lifestyle (entertainment, not married, no kids) leads me to meet an array of people who are younger than I am.
I try and keep up with the new technological speak the kids are using these days but I just can't get into the text messaging shorthand that people email you with at 3am on myspace.
Maybe the fact that i am looking at myspace at 3am is my problem.
Whatever it is, I refuse to talk in Blackberry speak. Text message speak. it is too truncated. In text messaging, you can't use words like "truncated" and therein lies my problem with it.
And I think because I won't go there, I will eventually show my age. My old fart-ness will emerge despite my lifestyle.
Friday night, I met up with my friend B and had a recreational time. He is a funny guy and I am stealing a lot of his funny ideas and lines until he gets a blog of his own. I told him that I would steal them so in my head karma won't get me. I don't know if he said it was okay because I heard the sound of my own head making the deal with karma.
Last night, I was a social butterfly. The gang had several options of things to do.
I started at Mads where I wanted wine, but she didn't have any so in lieu, she made a neat vodka concoction that I must try again. I wasn't able to finish it since Zappy arrived to whisk us away to the art gallery.
Good thing. I didn't want a repeat of the vodka glutton I partook of on Halloween.
We get to the gallery and they didn't have any wine either. So I had another vodka.
Zappy sees what I am wearing and comments that she likes my skirt. Then she gives a little look, pulls me aside and whispers, "Is that your Magicat skirt". I giggle like I have been caught in a secret.
Yes it is.
The Magicat skirt is really a skirt my mom made me a long time ago to be worn under little skirts that were too sheer to not wear anything. It is like several slips.
I feel very sexy when I wear it.
And apparently, I give off that energy.
Or maybe the vodka was taking effect.
Mads looks at me and sees my tipsy face coming on, "You are cut off" she jokes.
I stare at a painting for awhile and these two boys approach Mads and me.
One looks british and the other is a very handsome tall dark man with a booming voice.
They start talking to us and it turns out they are from Macedonia.
I ask if that is part of Greece and the dark handsome one starts yelling at me.
The girl who thinks she is his date gives me a look of "Honey, you should have never opened that can of worms"
I tell him, "Look, I asked a question, because I didn't know. If you don't like my ignorance, then you need to teach me so that I can know...not yell at me". I don't know if it came out that clear, but that was the gist.
The British looking one who now looked more Macedonian (I guess) and I started talking about art. He is an artist. His friend, who started to call Yelling Man, is an actor.
The power of the skirt. Or the vodka. Or the power of being in front of the right painting.
We leave that place and Zappy goes home but Jazzy and Tammy are in the car out front ready to take us to the next jaunt.
I am now officially unfiltered in what I am saying and thank god I am keeping the car in laughs.
We arrive at the birthday party of a friend where he is having a rooftop party. This building is full of artists and apparently a ton of sagittarians since it is a combined birthday party.
There was a ton of wine, but no wine opener (Dionysis was really protecting his stock last night...sheesh), so I had more vodka.
I see a guy there who was a temp at my company 5 years ago. We had mutual crushes on each other. I hadn't seen him since then.
I still could have had a crush on him (and his friend) but the reason I never escalated the crush to anything back then became the reason I chose to walk away (just walked away) from the oppy last night: he is a lazy, egocentric actor who would rather play the sad, warped hollywood jaded comedy writer than ask for the number of a funny interesting girl.
I asked his friend if he was a sad man.
He looked at me like I was retarded.
"No, it's just that you are a comedy writer, right, but so far, you have been like eeyore so I have to think you are a sad man"
I like to think I am a bar side shrink so what the fuck am I talking about?
He says he is a comic.
"Comedy is pain" I say and then I walked away (just walked away) like I was Norma Desmond on a roof top party on the clearest night ever.
We talked to another guy, who told us he was 29. I told him I was 29 too. Not true. But he believed it. Mostly because he was drunk.
I felt a little guilty lying to him. The vodka was wearing off for me to feel the shame of fibbing to a guy who believed I looked younger than I am.
It was a fun night. We ended up at the 101. Jason Segal who I love walked in. He was with someone who wasn't who I thought he was dating. It made me sad to think he and his actress ex girlfriend broke up. It made me sadder to wonder if they hadn't.
Anyway, it was hopping there. But somewhere between ordering and getting the food, I lost my steam.
Until I got home and found that I needed to check my messages on myspace.
I got the requisite email from a guy also online
"Hiya gorgeous...UR HOTTT! Wanna chat, AIM or Yahoo?"
Um....no. I didn't.
I logged off and went to bed. It was 4am.
See, I can party like the kids do. I just refuse to talk like they do and in the end, even the drunk cuties will not believe I am 29.
My old fartness will emerge.
As long as I drink vodka...and where the Magicat skirt though, I have a few good years left of my rebellion.
I had a venti sized latte this morning and then at lunch I had a grande.
I might as well just buy stock in Starbucks.
I have been good though. This is only my second day there this week. I am trying to find other sources for my caffeine habit.
I am tired. Wild week. Very happy about some of it.
The rest of it is work related which makes me grumpy.
And I am having cramps.
This week has gone by in a flash.
I didn't even have a chance to write about the amazing weekend I had.
Mads, Jazzy and I spent one of the afternoons just listening to each other's cds. It was so relaxing to just hang out with music. I do that alone but with friends it is a whole other experience.
I had a very interesting class whereby I feel like I may go an entirely different direction with my show. And that might be a really good thing.
I went to Ennui and Reedfish's tree trimming party. It was fun. Good food, good people and somehow, I got out of any sewing of the popcorn and the cranberries. I think the key is talk to whoever is taking a break.
Went back to dance class. Realized every time I go, I lose more inhibitions, no matter what size I am. Large or small, I love to shimmy and shake.
Went on a really good date.
Bought some clothes.
Escaped being an accessory to the man across the hall from me. I guess they are trying to get him out. He is trying to drum up support. I feel for the guy but I don't care either way. He is loud. But it doesn't bother me. But if he leaves, it won't bother me either.
I just nodded and looked appalled when he told me his side. But he had a real purpose for talking to me and I really couldn't help him and the universe was on my side and I was able to remove myself without any drama.
Whew.
It has been a flash of a week.
But not too fast that I couldn't blog about it. HA! Take that Demon of time thievery!
Mads, Zappy and I went driving around the other night to wander in my old neighborhood in Venice.
We saw some houses with lights on them.
Zappy mentioned that back in Jersey, you would see a ton more lights on the houses by the beginning of Dec.
We all reminisced on growing up and the different customs each of our families had.
My mom would line up the colored light strings that would later be on the outside of our house.
She would line them on the floor in the living room so that hanging them would be easier. She would plug them in and our entire wood floor would dance with the various colors. I loved it. I also loved the way the bulbs clicked against themselves.
My mom would hang the strands by herself and it was up to my sister and me to stand guard on the lawn to make sure she didn't fall off the roof.
Zappy laughed when she heard my mom's organized method of lining them up.
She said that her family would attempt to hang the tangled mess right out of the box.
My mom later replaced the colored lights on the tree with actual candles. Which, if you know my mom and her fear of fires, would shock them. That lasted only one year. They were replaced with white lights.
My mom was very controlling about the way the decorations were put on. She was such an artist and always needed a certain look.
I envied the homes that had the weird trees with like a foot between the branches. Easier to hang the ornaments.
On our bushy trees, the fear was that we would leave an ornament in the branches when it came time to discard the things.
Mads said that one year her dad found a revolving musical christmas tree stand. She said it was great because you could see all the ornaments as it turned.
She also said that one year, her dad left on his bike to get a tree. He returned with a sort of branch of a tree. A Charlie Brown Christmas tree, most likely. They kept it on the counter.
We cracked one another up with all our crazy family christmas tree stories.
Today, the gal that did my pedicure told me that in NY, to save space in small apartments, people are hanging their trees upside down from the ceiling.
Well that is someone else's story for when they grow up and tell their friends the weird things they did during the holidays.
One of the best Christmas trees I ever had was with my roommate in Portland.
I had had a bad Thanksgiving and she did too.
I picked her up from the airport. She had never had a real Christmas tree. Her family had a fake one they would pull out every year.
So we drove to Fred Meyers and got a tree, some ornaments and then went home and made popcorn to string it on there.
We bought a log for the fire and smelled the aroma of our little tree in our tiny living room.
Nice memories.
Zappy, Mads and I drove back to our own neighborhoods in the present. There was some talk of whether they were going to get a tree this year for each of their apartments. I won't be getting one. I usually don't. I only did that one year. And it was nice.
But I have a cat now and she likes things like trees with things dangling from them.
A Christmas memory of the year my cat knocked over my tree on to my framed photos in the middle of the night is a memory I can do without, thank you.
But if you see me walking by the square they set aside at the supermarkets for the trees, taking in the pine scent aroma; or if you see me standing at the House of Davids (on 3rd street near Larchmont) staring directly into the colored lights, you can just assume I am reminiscing about something Christmassy, so don't bother me; I will be creating a new memory.
It is weird living in LA because you see stars but when you first see them, they just seem like people you know.
The staring turns from "Hey, I think I know you" familiar glance to a stalker/fan glance as you figure out they are famous and IS THAT REALLY THEM? REALLY?
I saw Jeff Goldblum at the Target in West Hollywood. He was waiting for someone and I think he was uncomfortable being so exposed.
But then again, maybe he was totally comfortable.
I am not famous, so I wouldn't know.